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Pontifications of The Great and Terrible Captain Cucamunga.


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Sat, 21 May 2022 08:06:38 EDT

When you use “so” ask yourself…

…if you can put “that” after “so” without changing the meaning of the sentence. If you answer, “Why yes I can, Dear Captain,” then put “so” in there, My Dear Child, for in your sentence you use “so that” as a subordinating conjunction. It separates an action and its intent. As a consequence, the subordinate clause is often subjunctive:

I did this so that he would do that.

The subordinate clause modifies the main clause. The sentence describes an action intended to provoke another action.

“So” is a coordinating conjunction that separates an action from a consequent action:

I did this, so he did that.

Sat, 21 May 2022 07:31:46 EDT

It’s not me.

It’s you. It’s definitely you.

Look around the world.

You did that. I did not.

Wed, 18 May 2022 11:26:26 EDT

To the person or persons who conceived of round and scoop tortilla chips:

All that you have accomplished is that you have got salsa on the fingers of millions of people unnecessarily. Shame on you. Big triangles are the only acceptable dipping chips.

When I find out who you are, you will receive t-shirts that say, “The Captain is disappointed with me,” one shirt for each day of the week.

Tue, 17 May 2022 10:43:17 EDT

In the near distance, an alert sounds…

…periodically as a construction vehicle reverses. Beep, beep, beep. The annoying tone grows soft and loud as the vehicle moves around twenty-four floors below. Sometimes, when it grows soft, I think I can still hear it.

I may just shut it down for the day if this goes on much longer. I promise not to jump the operator and eat him. I promise to just go for a walk, maybe read a bit of a book on my phone in a park.


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