The Captain’s Log

Consider This Sentence

The following sentence occurs in The Winnipeg Free Press on Apple News. “Hemmed in by fire and smoke, evacuation airlifts continued Saturday in Garden Hill Anisininew Nation, as communities around Manitoba remained on high alert during the province’s worst wildfire season on record in 30 years.”

The captain hereby declares that journalists that use as as a coordinating conjunction must wear t-shirts that read, “The captain is disappointed with me.” Get that comma out of there, and don’t give me the excuse that the comma is a visual pause.

I will discover who flew the planes so that I can put the first clause into the active voice.

I will replace during because of my deep dislike of present participles. I will remove the phrase on record because it is unnecessary.

I will replace communities…remained on high alert with a statement that the province has declared a state of emergency. This conveys the same meaning but more emphatically.

My rewrite: “On Saturday, the CAF airlifted the last trapped residents of the Garden Hill Anisininew Nation to Winnipeg. The Manitoba government has declared a province-wide state of emergency in response to the worst wildfire season in 30 years.”

Consider This Sentence

The following sentence occurs in Reuters on Apple News. “The death toll from the July Fourth flash flood that ravaged a swath of central Texas Hill Country rose on Tuesday to at least 109, many of them children, as search teams pressed on through mounds of mud-encrusted debris looking for scores of people still missing.”

The error that caught my attention in this run-on sentence is the phrase, many of them children. The pronoun, them, has no antecedent.

My rewrite: “On Tuesday, the death toll from Friday’s flash flood in Texas rose to 109 people, many of them children. Search teams continue to search through mud-encrusted debris for the missing.”

“You have only one choice.”

Don’t make this claim incorrectly.

If you have only one choice, you have a single choice from among multiple items.

If you have no choice, you have only one item that you must accept. Unless you have the choice to refuse the item, you have no choice.

Palette, Pallet, Palate

Palette

The noun palette names a range of colors or, by extension, a range of another characteristic. Palette also names the small board that painters use to hold their paints when painting.

Pallet

The noun pallet names a small bed of modest construction such as a bed of straw or rags. Pallet also names a portable surface, such as shipping pallet, for carrying items from place to place.

Palate

The noun palate names the sense of taste or, by extension, taste in the sense of preference or habit. Palate also names the roof of the mouth.