Mon, 06 Jul 2026 17:30:46 EDT
Consider This Sentence
The following sentence occurs in CTV News on Apple News. “Prime Minister Mark Carney is set to announce a decision on procuring a new submarine fleet for the Royal Canadian Navy Monday in Halifax, multiple industry and government sources confirmed to CTV News.”
Rather long. I prefer attributions at the start of sentences.
Is set to announce a decision on procuring is wonderfully abstract. Hate the present participle.
My rewrite: “Multiple sources tell CTV News that on Monday, in Halifax, Prime Minister Mark Carney will announce the winning bidder for the contract to supply new submarines to the Royal Canadian Navy.”
Update: ThyssenKrupp is the winner.
Sat, 04 Jul 2026 14:41:13 EDT
Maple
In Middle English, the noun maple was spelled mapel and pronounced mah-pel. In Anglo-Saxon, mapulder and mapeltreow both meant maple tree. The origins of maple are a matter of speculation.
Wed, 01 Jul 2026 12:53:37 EDT
Consider This Sentence
The following sentence occurs in REUTERS on Apple News. “Handing President Donald Trump a stinging defeat, the U.S. Supreme Court on Tuesday rejected his audacious attempt to restrict birthright citizenship in the United States—a right long woven into the fabric of American society—scuttling one of his top priorities in his crackdown on immigration.”
The sentence is too long and inappropriately editorial: stinging defeat, audacious attempt.
Woven into the fabric of American society is a relatively meaningless metaphor. What is the fabric of society? How is birthright citizenship woven into that fabric? It’s more useful to say that birthright citizenship became law in 1868 when the 14th amendment to the U.S. constitution was ratified.
My rewrite: “On Tuesday, the United States Supreme Court struck down President Trump’s 2025 executive order that ended birthright citizenship. Citizenship has been granted automatically to those born in the U.S. since 1868 when the 14th amendment to the U.S. constitution was ratified.”
Thu, 25 Jun 2026 12:31:07 EDT
Consider This Headline
The following headline occurs on the SPORTSNET YouTube channel. “Gavin McKenna is Ready to Potentially Become a Toronto Maple Leaf.”
McKenna is ready to potentially become a Toronto Maple Leaf? When does he potentially become a Maple Leaf? On draft day? McKenna is a potential Maple Leaf now because he is up for grabs at the forthcoming NHL draft, and the Maple Leafs have the first pick at the draft. This does not imply that he will be selected. Become does not need to be qualified. “Gavin McKenna is ready to become a Toronto Maple Leaf,” is accurate.
I will not use that clause for the same reason that the writer qualified become: the writer did not want readers to jump to a conclusion. In particular, the team or the league may complain if it believes a journalist has revealed a deal done in secret beforehand even though we all know that the deals are done beforehand. Instead I will put a direct quote in the headline to let McKenna speak for himself. I will use a sentence headline because I prefer sentence headlines.
My rewrite: “Gavin McKenna says, ‘it’d be pretty special,’ to become a Toronto Maple Leaf.”
Update June 26th: Gavin McKenna is a leaf.