The Captain’s Log

There are no degrees of rare…

…in the sense of highly uncommon. A steak can be medium rare, but diamonds cannot.

Modify scarce instead. Items can be more or less scarce.

See unique.

Consider This Sentence

The following sentence occurs in Reuters on Apple News. “President Vladimir Putin intends to keep fighting in Ukraine until the West engages on his terms for peace, unfazed by Donald Trump’s threats of tougher sanctions, and his territorial demands may widen as Russian forces advance, three sources close to the Kremlin said.”

This run-on sentence, beside being Russian propaganda bluster, is difficult to parse. What does until the West engages on his terms for peace mean? Until the West agrees to his terms? Until the West comes to the table? Is Ukraine included in the West? The phrase that starts with unfazed… confuses on first reading. The phrase appears to modify the West.

I dislike unnecessary present participles. Keep fighting should just be fight.

This rewrite makes the long propaganda sentence intelligible: “According to sources close to the Kremlin, Russian President Vladimir Putin, unfazed by the threat of increased American sanctions, intends to fight in Ukraine until the West agrees to his peace terms, and his territorial demands may widen as Russian forces advance.”

Consider This Sentence

The following sentence occurs in The Winnipeg Free Press on Apple News. “Hemmed in by fire and smoke, evacuation airlifts continued Saturday in Garden Hill Anisininew Nation, as communities around Manitoba remained on high alert during the province’s worst wildfire season on record in 30 years.”

The captain hereby declares that journalists that use as as a coordinating conjunction must wear t-shirts that read, “The captain is disappointed with me.” Get that comma out of there, and don’t give me the excuse that the comma is a visual pause.

I will discover who flew the planes so that I can put the first clause into the active voice.

I will replace during because of my deep dislike of present participles. I will remove the phrase on record because it is unnecessary.

I will replace communities…remained on high alert with a statement that the province has declared a state of emergency. This conveys the same meaning but more emphatically.

My rewrite: “On Saturday, the CAF airlifted the last trapped residents of the Garden Hill Anisininew Nation to Winnipeg. The Manitoba government has declared a province-wide state of emergency in response to the worst wildfire season in 30 years.”

Consider This Sentence

The following sentence occurs in Reuters on Apple News. “The death toll from the July Fourth flash flood that ravaged a swath of central Texas Hill Country rose on Tuesday to at least 109, many of them children, as search teams pressed on through mounds of mud-encrusted debris looking for scores of people still missing.”

The error that caught my attention in this run-on sentence is the phrase, many of them children. The pronoun, them, has no antecedent.

My rewrite: “On Tuesday, the death toll from Friday’s flash flood in Texas rose to 109 people, many of them children. Search teams continue to search through mud-encrusted debris for the missing.”