The Captain’s Log

Emit, Omit, and Transmit

Emit

The verb emit derives from the Latin verb emittere, which means to send forth, to give out, or to throw. The modern sense of emit is to give off or to send out.

Omit

The verb omit derives from the Latin verb omittere, which means to let go or to let fall. The modern sense of omit is to fail to include or to neglect to do.

Transmit

The verb transmit derives from the Latin verb transmittere, which means to send across. The modern sense of transmit is to convey or to broadcast.

All three verbs are specializations of the Latin verb mittere, which means to send or to throw.

Touch-and-Go

The adjective idiom touch-and-go describes a precarious situation. The idiom was the name of a tag-like game played in previous centuries. In general usage, Touch-and-go originally described the quick performance of an action.

Uncrustables

Uncrustables is the trademarked brand name of a frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwich made by Smuckers. According to Wikipedia, sales of Uncrustables generated $685 million in 2023. The captain is amazed that people are so lazy that they are unwilling to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for themselves. It is because the final act of trimming away the crust is just too enervating? The “jam” isn’t even real jam.

The sandwich was granted a patent in 1999, but the patent was rescinded in 2005 because a crustless sandwich, “was not novel or non-obvious enough to merit the award of a patent.” And yet the U.S. Patent Office will not rescind Amazon’s spurious One-Click patent, a patent which grants intellectual property rights on the mouse-click.

Companies cannot trademark ordinary terms, which is why trademarked terms that contain common vocabulary employ unusual spellings. Uncrustables is decidedly not a common term. The name Uncrustables implies that you cannot put a crust on the sandwiches, which is patently untrue, but veracity is not a requirement for trademarks.

The sandwiches should be called PBJ Pokkets or Crustbegones because Smuckers’ sandwiches are entirely crustable. You just need a little glue or adhesive tape.

Dear Auto-Correct Nerds

Its is possessive. It’s is a contraction of it is or it has. Fix your product.