Sat, 10 Jan 2026 12:17:45 EST
Consider This Sentence
The following sentence appears in The Globe and Mail on Apple News. “Ontario’s top court on Friday ordered an independent psychiatric assessment of a 43-year-old man who has spent half his life detained in isolated seclusion at a mental-health care centre north of Toronto.”
I prefer sentence modifiers at the beginning of sentences (On Friday).
I like to name institutions and people on first mention. This sentence curiously speaks of two anonymous institutions and one anonymous man.
The phrase half his life is meant convey a sense of the extraordinary. In journalism, it is better to convey a fact than a feeling.
The phrase detained in isolated seclusion is redundant.
My rewrite; “On Friday, the Ontario Court of Appeal ordered an independent psychiatric assessment of Camelot Hamblett, a 43-year-old man who has spent the last 20 years in isolation at the Waypoint Centre north of Toronto.”